Apr. 22, 2011
Dear Jack Nicholson,
I have admired your work for many years and loved so many of your films.
-You scared me in “The Shining” when you said, “Here’s Johnny!” (I read that you improvised that line!)
-You melted my heart “As Good As it Gets” when you said, “You make me want to be a better man.”
-You creeped me out in “Batman,” when you said, “As my plastic surgeon always said: if you gotta go, go with a smile.”
-You made me cry in “The Bucket List”, when you spoke at your friend’s funeral, “Carter and I saw the world together, which is amazing when you think that only three months ago we were complete strangers. I hope that it doesn't sound selfish of me, but the last months of his life were the best months of mine. He saved my life, and he knew it before I did.”
-You cracked me up in “Something’s Gotta Give” when you said, “I have never lied to you, I have always told you some version of the truth.”
Now Mr. Nicholson, I know you’re a huge Lakers basketball fan. I’ve seen you on TV, sitting there in your courtside seats. I know you’re completely focused on the game and have, on occasion, hounded the opposition and the refs. Once in 2001, during a playoff game, you were arguing with the officials so much that you were assessed a technical foul! And I know that you never miss a home game. Whenever you’re working on a film, directors have to work around the Lakers’ home schedule.
Now Mr. Nicholson, won’t you please invite me to sit with you at a game? Of course, my husband has a friend who takes him to the Lakers games and they sit in awesome seats near all the celebrities. Are you wondering why I haven’t been invited to go? Well, I’ll tell you--mostly because I don’t really watch the game so much. I enjoy taking pictures of all the celebrities. Now, Jack, er, I mean Mr Nicholson, I’ll make a deal with you. If you invite me to sit with you at a game, I PROMISE I will watch the game and not take any celebrity pictures! I will behave myself. This would be the greatest honor of my life! I’ll even wear my sunglasses too! Once you said, “With my sunglasses on, I’m Jack Nicholson. Without them, I’m fat and 70.”
Well, for the record, today you’re 74…but who’s counting? Please, please, please! I’ll be waiting to hear from you, Mr Nicholson. I’ve got my Pau Gasol jersey on and thunder sticks in hand ready to GO!
Happy 74th Birthday!